One day a woman I knew approached me with a somewhat unusual request. Slipping a rather large diamond ring from her finger, she handed it to me. She said she wanted to donate the ring to a charitable cause which she named. "My late husband gave me this ring," she said. "It's a very expensive diamond."
The ring was later appraised by two reliable jewelers. The first jeweler wasn't interested in the ring. He said it was of little value, no more than $15 or $20. The other jeweler in another city took the ring and placed it in his microscope. "Take a look," he said. "See how dark and dull it looks inside?" It did look a lot like a lump of coal. "I can buy diamonds like this one in wholesale lots for around $20 each."
Appraised by God's Standards
You know, things are not always what they appear to be. Either this woman's husband had fooled her, or someone had fooled him. Some things to which we may attach great value, are of little value when appraised by God's standards.
Over the years, I've visited with a number of people who were terminally ill. I've never heard any of them say, "You know, my only regret is that I spent too much time with my family and loved ones. I just wish I had spent more time at my job, and in accumulating more wealth. I'm sorry I've wasted so much time helping others."
We need to value the things that Heaven values. Our lives and the lives of those we love. Our family, our friends and our neighbors are more precious to God than anything else. In the Bible He calls them His jewels. One day He will say of those who have been faithful to Him: "They shall be mine, says the Lord of hosts, on the day that I make them my jewels" (Malachi 3:17).
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The year I spent as a student missionary on the tiny little horseshoe-shaped island Majuro, was the year I learned about simple faith from a seventh-grade Marshallese boy.
I had been teaching a roomful of 27 fifth to eighth graders about the formation of their coral island home. With great enthusiasm I described how little coral polyps had formed reefs on top of underwater volcanic mountains. From this beginning, islands, more properly referred to as coral atolls, like Majuro, were formed.
It wasn't long before I realized the students were becoming visibly agitated. Finally, curly headed Kurban could hold it in no longer and blurted, "Have you seen that mountain we on?"
"No," I admitted, "I have not."
"Then how you know we on top of mountain?"
"Scientists have special equipment they use to measure how deep the ocean is..."
"You lie," muttered Kurban loudly."
We Not on Top of Mountain
"We not on top of mountain. We all know God made island. Not coral plops. You bad teacher," muttered Yosen. "Maybe you go back to North Dakota. You teach foolish."
"We on one small island, not on mountain," added Maryland.
"True, we are on an island but the island is the top of a mountain poking its coral head up through the wa..."
"We not on mountain," argued Kurban. "This island he be flat. He not be no mountain."
In exasperation I finally asked, "Then what keeps this island from floating around on the water?"
Without hesitation Kurban answered emphatically, "God hold it in His hand."
With those simple words this island boy yanked my rug of knowledge out from under me. Who could argue with faith like that? I smiled slowly as I spoke, "You're right, Kurban, you are so right."
Lesson done.
My memories floated back in time. I had grown up with a fear of water. It had taken me three years to pass beginner's swimming because of that fear! Then, as a sophomore at college I'd been chosen not to go to South America where I had wanted to go—but to the Marshall Islands in the middle of the Pacific, where I would have to fly 6000 miles by jet above an endless expanse of ocean! Talk about fear! My former math teacher had helped me by telling me to simply visualize God holding the plane in His hands.
Now, my student had hit that same lesson home to me and it was a home run.
Wherever you go, wherever you are, remember, God holds you in His hands. "The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms" (Deuteronomy 33:27).
Ian Usher was selling his entire life—and no, he wasn't joking either. He was dead serious. Life had gotten a little out of hand for this 34-year-old Australian man. His wife of 12 years had left him, he was working at a dead end job that wasn't panning out, and all he could seem to do was mope around thinking about how lousy his life was. Ian decided to do something radical.
He sold his entire life on the auction site eBay. He sold his house, his car, his jet ski, his furniture, his hot tub, everything—including a list of all of his friends. The fortunate winning bidder even got a chance to try out his job that he was leaving.
There were a few caveats in the sale though. He didn't sell his identity, his passport, his Australian citizenship, or his personal details. These items were off the market, but everything else was fair game.
I was intrigued by this man's decision to sell his entire life. When it was all said and done, the final price was a paltry $300,000 for everything, and it barely covered the value of his beautiful home. All his work, all his material possessions, everything that he had put effort into—it was all gone.
When you consider the reality of what Ian gave up in exchange for the money he received it all seems rather futile. However, there are many people who are just like him, only they sell themselves on the installment plan. They don't get a lump sum like Ian did, they "piece meal" it over a lifetime.
Strive and Work to Get to Top
They strive and work to get to the top. In a proverbial way, they dig and claw through life to make a little bit more. And what do they get when it's all over? The same deal as everyone else! Check out this verse from the book of Ecclesiates:
"Life, lovely while it lasts, is soon over. Life as we know it, precious and beautiful, ends" (Ecclesiates 12:6-7).
It can be difficult to contemplate such weighty issues, but sooner or later we all have to come to grips with the simple and profound truth that life is quite short. If the only thing we accomplish while we're here is to accumulate a few material possessions, the eternal mark that we leave when we're gone will be minimal.
In the same book, King Solomon tells us that life is really supposed to be about having a tight relationship with our Creator. It took Solomon a lifetime of chasing the "installment plan" method to finally recognize this simple truth. We can seize it right now. It's real, it's right, and it lasts forever.
We've all heard of New Year's resolutions, right? In fact, we may have heard so much about them and dealt with them so much that we've actually lost a desire to even make them. But let's not even ponder the old idea of whether or not we actually keep those January promises. Instead, let's think about making some New Year's revolutions.
So, what's a New Year's revolution? Well, I'm not sure. I'm still thinking about it myself. What I am sure of, however, is that it doesn't start and stop with a personal change, but rather it starts personally and grows outward. And the greatest place for revolution is with God at the center.
So how can we go forward in spiritual revolution? We could start by following King David's desire for an unquenchable desire for God's Word. Psalm 42:1, 2 (NIV) says, "As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I got and meet with God?" This makes me think of the deer I see right now all over our Iowa landscape. I look at them and wonder where and how they're getting water to drink. I think they must be almost panting for it as they come upon frozen waters. Wouldn't it be revolutionary if we as Christians actually had an unquenchable thirst for God's word?
Unquenchable Thirst
In addition to an unquenchable thirst for God's word, we can follow Job's desire for making it our food as well. In fact, Job valued God's word more than food! "I have treasured the words of His [God's] mouth more than my necessary food." Job 23:12 (NKJV) There's another revolutionary thought! Just think of all the unnecessary food we've had over the holidays. What would happen if we valued God's word more then even the food that we actually need?
Well, it's something to think about isn't it? As we ponder the usual New Year's resolutions of taking those pounds off or exercising more, let's also move toward some New Year revolutions.
When you drive around town during the Christmas season, you'll often see signs that proclaim Jesus' birth. Signs stating "Jesus is the Reason for the Season," or "Keep Christ in Christmas" are common. But if you live in Washington, D.C., this year you'll see a different kind of sign. Signs on buses will say, "Why believe in god? Just be good for goodness' sake."1 An organization called The American Humanist Association unveiled this $40,000 holiday ad campaign last month.
Something inside me wants to walk the streets of Washington, D.C. and say to everyone who reads this bus sign, "Why believe in God? I can tell you why I do. Believing in God gives me a fresh start every day. I know that when I mess up, He will forgive me because He died so I wouldn't have to. Believing in God helps me face the day-to-day struggles of this life because I have a constant Friend who I can talk to about anything. Believing in God gives me hope for a better future. A future free of physical and emotional pain. A future where everything wrong will be made right.
Form of Advertising
America isn't the only country participating in this form of advertising. In October the British Humanist Association announced a similar sign campaign on London buses that reads, "There's probably no God. Now stop worrying and enjoy your life."2
And something in me wants to walk the streets of London and say to everyone who reads this sign, "It's not true! There is a God, and that is WHY I enjoy my life! I know there's a God because I can't deny the change He made in my dad's life when I was a young girl. I watched Dad break old habits and be transformed into a better man—a man God used to bring literally thousands to Him. I know there's a God because I can't deny the peace I felt in the middle of my grief when my brother died of cancer—peace that he was resting until God raises him from the dead one day. And I can't deny the joy I feel when I read something in the Bible that tells me just what I need to hear that very day.
Though we don't agree with the bus ads, we Christians shouldn't try to force Jesus on people. Jesus doesn't. He simply says, "I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in..." (Revelation 3:20).
Maybe that's what we should do this Christmas. Maybe the best way to show what Christmas is all about is to knock on doors. To knock on house doors where we know there's a need and give food, clothes, and other help. And to knock on heart doors by being a friend, offering companionship, and a listening ear.
Maybe acting like Jesus is the best way to keep Christ in Christmas.
I saw Him that afternoon and I knew...He was the Lover of my soul. No one told me; I just knew it. His lofty figure and generous smile captivated my heart. And I desired to know Him. He was called...Man.
It was early in the morning when I approached Him and told Him the story of my life. His transparent eyes penetrated my senses and I knew that I would never forget His story either.
At His side, I learned the greatest truths and to His loving hand I hold onto forever. I will never again feel alone and to be by His side is my only desire.
Compassionate Eyes
His compassionate eyes sense danger and I pay attention to every word of advice He gives me. Tenderness flows out of His mouth. I can't imagine my life without Him! After looking for Him for so long, how could I ever let Him go? His never-ending love has pierced my heart and I can never again feel despair. His love will follow me all of the days of my life.
Honesty adorns His chest and wisdom crowns His head. His feet are swift for the race and His hands overflow with kindness. I lack nothing when I'm at His side!
At night, I lie down and peacefully drift to sleep because He watches over me. He is the Defender of my life and the One that has restored it. He is the King of the universe and His greatness endures forever.
I saw Him that afternoon and I knew...He was the Lover of my soul. His name is Jesus.
"...I held him and would not let him go..." (Song of Solomon 3:4)
"You cut your hair!" It was more out of surprise that I made the exclamation, than anything else. My family was gathered in our living room on a recent morning when I saw something that looked quite different about my nine-year-old son's face. His bangs were squared off and higher around his forehead, and he blushed when I mentioned his new look. His embrassment was palpable, and try as we might, my family couldn't help but chuckle as he told his sad tale of woe.
It seems that when his hair was last cut he didn't think it looked that great. Using an old pair of hand-powered clippers he had uncovered from a box in our basement he proceeded to "fix" it. He worked diligently, but soon discovered that the more he attempted to rearrange his look, the worse it got. We were grateful that he chose to stop when he did, or his only option would have been to start from "bald" and let it all grow in naturally.
Overall the style was not nearly as dramatic as my eldest daughter's self-coiffure when she was only four. After her creative work she spent the next three months exclaiming, "I'm not a boy, I'm a girl" whenever she met someone she didn't know. It makes me laugh now that she's fifteen, but I wasn't nearly as amused when it actually happened.
Doing Something
These experiences remind me of how I often take things into my owns hands when it comes to spiritual matters. I frequently attempt to fix issues on my own that I am simply not capable of re-working. I struggle with trying to bring about change and happiness by "doing something," rather than allowing God to change me from the inside out. God has promised to give me a new heart, but sometimes I slip back into the idea that if I can just work hard enough, everything will turn out all right.
When I'm tempted to go back to that kind of rationalization I remember my children's self-inflicted hair-dos and breathe a silent prayer for God's help. My Creator is the only One who can bring about something beautiful in my life.
"I will give them an undivided heart and put a new spirit in them; I will remove from them their heart of stone and give them a heart of flesh" (Ezekiel 11:19).
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Several years ago, we had a pastor who was a former electrical engineer. One evening, we were visiting their home and my husband Mark was helping him with some work outdoors. After a while, a typical Iowa thunderstorm moved in. The wind began to blow and dark clouds gathered. Pastor Don was fine with this until lightning began to flicker in the distance.
Being from Oregon, he was not accustomed to thunder and lightning. In fact, he and his family were so enthralled with their first thunderstorm that they spent the evening indoors with the lights off so that they could peer out the window in awe as though it was the fourth of July.
Our family had, admittedly, laughed a bit as we pictured them all huddled in front of their window counting the seconds between the flashs of lightening in distance and the sound of thunder following. That had been delightful for them because they were safe inside their house. But now being outdoors, even close to the house, was not at all delightful for them.
If I Perish
Pastor Don knew the power of electricity, and having not been desensitized by growing up in the Midwest as we had, he told Mark with all sincerity, "If I perish, tell my family I loved the Lord." At first glance, this was almost humorous, except for one thing. He was serious!
They finished their work quickly, and neither Pastor Don nor my husband perished. But the sincerity behind Pastor Don's message to Mark left a lasting impression on me. His greatest concern at the thought of dying was for his family to be assured that he belonged to Jesus.
That is the greatest comfort any of us can have from our loved ones, isn't it? Separation by death is devastating, but knowing that the day will come when life will be renewed forever for those who belong to Jesus is the best consolation we could receive, or give.
"As for me, I will see your face in righteousness; I shall be satisfied when I awake in your likeness" (Psalm 17:15).
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If you grew up a Christian, you probably heard over and over again just how much God loves you and how we ought to display this kind of love to those around us. Did you ever want to know where people were getting that information from or read about it for yourself? I did. I was surprised even though I'd been told, to find a God who not only loved me, but loved me no matter what I did.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8 is a beautiful description of God's love. "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Loves does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails..." What a wonderful guideline to try to incorporate into our relationships whether it be spouses, friendships, parents, children and yes, even our enemies.
I remember having a hard time believing that God could actually love me after I'd done something wrong. In James Bryan Smith's book entitled, Embracing the Love of God, he states. "God hopes and believes--he sees our potential even when we doubt and despair ourselves. If God is this way with us, then as extensions of his life in us, we, too, can offer this kind of love to those around us." 1 Hard to Refuse
God offers a love that is hard to refuse. Once we accept it, we will want nothing more than to project it to others. God wants us to accept His love and to dwell in it, but to also allow others to receive this love as it was given to us. This may be hard to do because we often feel there are some people who, we believe, do not deserve our love. Smith goes on to say, "It is not until we love a person in all his ugliness that we can make him beautiful, or ourselves either."
God's love is unconditional and everlasting. That's a perfect love that I am not worthy of, but am given because God promised me and His promise never fails.
"Beloved, since God loved us so much, we also ought to love one another" (1 John 4:11).
Every Christmas we hear stories that suggest pieces on Earth and bad will toward men. For example, San Francisco Chronicle told of two men in San Rafael, California, who were offended by the presents they received from one another. Angry words escalated into a fight that involved flying flowerpots. Both men landed in the hospital.
The Victoria Colonist covered the story of a woman who was arrested for beating a man with her Christmas tree. The incident occurred because the man grumbled that the load of gifts in his arms was heavier than the tree she was carrying.
Let's face it: Christmas can get messy, messy, messy. Perhaps you've never thought of this holiday as the most, messiest time of year, but if you wish to be true to the original story, then you have to face the messy facts. While Christmas cards portray fairytale scenes of a quaint manger and a quiet infant, "no crying he makes," the real story in Luke 2 confronts us with a messy mystery that is more blood and barn than tinsel and peace.
In verse 2, the angels tell the shepherds, "This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger."
Notice the "sign" that identifies Jesus: a baby born in a barn, wrapped in rags, lying in a feed trough. This is not the nativity scene at your local mall. Our replications are clean. But in the real barn were no antibacterial wipes on hand to sanitize the scene.
When the shepherds showed up, they didn't ratchet up the chic factor. They weren't known for hygiene. In ancient days, they were considered unstable and shady—perhaps like traveling circus hucksters in our day.
But the angel tells us that this was no accident that Jesus was born in the middle of a mess. This was a sign that Jesus was no ordinary king. That's the clue that tipped off the shepherds: "You'll know it's the Messiah because He'll show up in the messiest place on the planet."
No money. No celebration. No paparazzi.
Shaun Dyer warns, "If we sanitize the Christmas story—eliminating its earthiness, pain and struggle, we miss the truth of a God who deeply loves us. The birth of Jesus is the moment God came to dwell in our midst, to join us in our struggle. Because therein lies a clue to the mystery. Had he came as he deserved, in royal clothes, surrounded by nobility, he would have remained a distant God. But what I know of him is that he is a present and involved God."*
The Christmas story is good news because we're messy people. And we belong to a messy church. Sometimes young people abandon church because of the messiness; you know, the hypocrisy, legalism, cattiness. But not all young people are jumping ship. There are lots of young folk who understand that church is a messy place, but they show up anyway.
And in the mess, they hear the angel proclaim: "Here's the good news of Christmas: Our God embraces our mess. This infant child will come into your life no matter how messed up it might be. That's His signature, His sign, a dead giveaway that it's Jesus."
Jesus doesn't care how messy your life is. It doesn't scare him at all. For He started His life in a mess, wrapped in rags and placed in a manger; and He ended His life in a mess, wrapped in rags and pounded to a cross.
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Anita was a young, vibrant, active mother of a 10-month-old and a two-year-old when she was diagnosed with Stage 4 colon cancer. I did not know her well, but her husband and mine had been friends and coworkers for several years. It seemed impossible that she had a terminal illness; she was so full of life. The prognosis though, was extremely bleak.
When we visited Anita and her family a few months later, I wondered how we would find her. Fearing that she might be weak and sick, we were thankful to see that in spite of the advanced stage of the disease and ongoing chemotherapy treatments, she was in good spirits and seemed just as healthy as ever.
Over the next two-and-a-half years we received periodic updates about her condition. She continued to be in good health with few symptoms, but the medical reports were sometimes hopeful, many times discouraging. I know she went through severe emotional struggles knowing she might not always be there for her two small daughters, but always her faith and trust in a loving Father shone through.
Celebrate Life
Almost two years after being diagnosed, Anita was still fighting valiantly. She ran in a 5K marathon, wearing a back brace to protect a vertebra that had been weakened by the spreading cancer. In an article that ran in the local paper, Anita spoke of enjoying her life to the fullest, continuing to do the things that she loved for as long as possible, making the most of every opportunity to be great mom and celebrate life in every way possible, of her focus on the blessings that she had, instead of on what she might lose. She was determined to make the most of every moment.
Anita died a few weeks ago. My heart aches for her family, but I praise God for the legacy that she has left behind, one of courage and faith, a legacy that lives on in the many lives that she touched. I've thought a lot about her life and her determination to live every moment of it to the fullest, however long that might be. I am reminded that God alone knows the number of our days.
Life gives us no guarantees about tomorrow, but today, this moment is a gift! It is the only space of time that we truly own. I need to be reminded of that sometimes. Whatever is happening in my life, it is my choice how I will fill this moment that is mine. This is my moment to love and laugh and dream, to cherish time with family and friends, to pursue the things that I love, to focus on all that is good and blessed in my life, to learn to love and trust my loving Father.
A few weeks ago, at my weekly Bible study meeting, the conversation centered on how we were just living our lives, yet not experiencing anything all that special. Most of us are mothers of young children making it challenging for many of us to balance our lives. We talked about how, since the birth of our kids, we have found it difficult to spend some daily quiet time with God. Many of us even confessed to spending only tiny moments of time thinking about God in our very busy day.
Each of us had spent more significant amounts of time with God before becoming parents. We concluded that our lives would be different somehow if we now had that time to focus on what was most important. As we talked, I reflected on my own life. Over the last several months, I had gone from a woman who really did believe God was the center of her every day, to a woman who vaguely remembered to put God in her life at all. I thought about how my attitude towards life had changed because of my neglect to put God first. I had become complacent and even slightly depressed.
Before compacency set in, God had always been my hope and strength. I remembered having more patience to handle my toddlers' temper tantrums. When my children had acted up, I had been able to find joy on the other side of my initial reaction of frustration.
This had not been the case lately. It was overwhelming to deal with my disobedient children. My mother even asked me if I ever had fun with my children. Her comment made me freeze as I tried to remember the last time I had honestly enjoyed spending time with my children. I definitely had plenty of excuses in my mind before I actually was convicted. A mother with two little toddlers has difficult times every day. What was I doing wrong? Were my children to blame for my sour attitude?
Christ First
I decided that I needed to put Christ first again and second I remembered my husband telling me that happiness is a choice. As I let God take more control of my life, and I chose to be happy, my relationship with my children began to transform as well. I found myself wanting to teach them new things. I got out some of my old craft supplies and we made necklaces, they worked on pictures, and we talked about what they were interested in. Just making the decision to stay at home with my kids was not enough in terms of living life abundantly with them. I needed to be a fun mother spending time encouraging and growing little ones for God.
After a week of change, and I must say it has been baby steps, I feel God is changing me into the mother He wants me to be. I am more in tune with Him and with my children.
God wants the very best for us, but sometimes we let our busy lives keep us from that "best" He offers. Intentionally putting Christ first has been the only way I have found the strength to be the kind of parent I really want to be.
On January 1, your whole life can be transformed. For one day at least, all your good intentions can be jump-started and all your bad habits unplugged. At least for a few hours—minutes?—the year is a perfect reflection of your best self.
But January 1 is followed, inevitably, by January 2 and January 3. Someday soon you will opt for snuggling in a cozy bed a few more minutes rather than plunging out into the cold on that jog. Pretty soon candy wrappers will pop up in your desk drawer again. By January 4 or 5, you will surely have been aggravated by a bad driver or a dropped glass or a stubbed toe to have let loose a blue streak of unsanctified thoughts. By the 7th, your socks sleep on the bathroom floor and your dental floss collects dust. By the 10th you fall asleep before you can even get the Bible open. For all but a few of us, most New Year's resolutions get packed away with the last of the Christmas decorations.
The problem with most of our resolutions is that they are too safe, too sensible and too self-centered. We resolve to make tiny cosmetic changes in our lifestyles but refuse to consider restructuring our lives and changing the paradigms by which we live.
For those of us who are married, what if this year we resolve to make a real, lasting, drastic change? Not finding a new spouse, but to be a new and improved husband or wife?
Here are several suggestions from which to draw up a New Year's resolution for your marriage: (If you are single, the first sentence of the first suggestion applies also to you in enriching your discipleship journey.)
1. Go deeply into the word of God. Spending daily time for your individual walk with Him will help you grow closer to your spouse in the journey of marriage. Prayers for and with your life partner will drift to heaven as sweet incense before Him who created marriage.
2. Set daily time aside for just the two of you. Start by clearing the clutter from your busy schedule so you may serve your spouse instead. Cook with and for them, help with the laundry, instigate one of their favorite activities and always listen attentively.
3. Recommit, daily, to each other as you did on your wedding day. "This commitment cannot be a one-time affirmation, for buried within each of us is the deep psychological need for constant reassurance, to know where we stand with our partner in the relationship of marriage. It is the awareness that we are loved and accepted that builds our own sense of self-esteem and self-acceptance and makes it possible to give and express love in return." 1
Most of the resolutions we will make this year have to do with ourselves: our weight, our exercise program, our school, our work, etc. Let's make a different type of resolution this year, one that will bless our spouses, and ultimately, our marriage.
I have a friend who will be spending her eleventh Christmas without her mom this year. And although eleven years sounds like a long time, when I spoke with Kari today I could still hear sadness in her voice. Her mom had been the heart of their home.
I asked Kari how she copes during the holidays. That's when she told me about the scrapbook. The day after her mom died, Kari feared forgetting. So she started a scrapbook that she wrote in daily for the next three months. Her tears wet the pages while her hand tried to somehow express the ache she felt in her heart. "I did it for me," she said. "It was my grief journey. It was also my way to memorialize my mom."
Kari's book contains personal letters to God. She was very honest with Him about her anger at the unfairness of a world that takes those we love too soon. It also includes letters to her mom. Since they can't talk, writing to her mom is comforting, even though her mom can't read the letters. It's yet another way to express her grief. And the book is full of cards, pictures, and other memories.
Intense Pain
Although creating the scrapbook brought intense pain at times, it has become a way to remember the happy times. Kari says, "Even if I cry when I look at the scrapbook, it makes me feel good to remember."
Some of us stuff our pain. We put off grieving because it hurts. Yet working through the hurt is what helps to ease the pain eventually. Even if the remembering brings moaning, tears, or anger, it can help heal us.
Maybe this holiday season would be a good time to start a scrapbook of someone you've loved and lost. It can be a beautiful way to remember one who isn't here this Christmas. If a scrapbook doesn't appeal to you, find another way to remember and memorialize that suits you. Of course, the time needs to be right for you, and you'll know whether you're ready or not.
However you remember your loved one this Christmas, also remember that Christmas isn't just a time to look back at the birth of Jesus. It's a time to look forward. To remember that because a Child was born, your loved one can live again.
Not being able to spend a few holidays together here on earth dims in comparison to spending an eternity together in Heaven!
My sister-in-law has already finished her holiday shopping. I haven't even started! It's hard to face the mall when I know how tight our finances are this year. It's not that I don't want to be generous. I truly enjoy giving presents and seeing the smiles when they are opened. And I want to give something really nice to everyone on my lengthy list.
If you're facing similar "shopping blues," you may benefit from using these three important tools with which I plan to arm myself before hitting the stores:
1. A reasonable budget. Decide ahead of time how much to spend.
2. A meticulous list. Choose carefully who will receive which gifts. (You don't have to buy a gift for everyone you know!) And remember that a bigger price tag doesn't necessarily equal a better gift.
3. A firm commitment to stick to #1 and #2. When the bills start arriving, you'll be so glad you did! Who wants to be wallowing in debt while trying to ring in the New Year?
Give Time
Remember also that one of the best things you can give is the gift of time. Make coupons offering to baby-sit, walk dogs, do yard work or clean house. For some people, this will be the best holiday gift they receive.
Instead focusing so much on gifts, plan fun holiday activities for your family, like ice skating, sledding or making gingerbread houses to give away. Take as many holiday pictures as possible early in the season, then have a family scrap booking session. If you're thinking about taking a vacation in the coming year, start planning it during the time your kids are home from school. Researching options and gathering information can be almost as much fun as actually going.
In spite of what advertisers may tell us, enjoying time with those we love is always the best gift.
"Free Pre-Paid Cremation! Details inside." These were the words on the outside of an envelope addressed to my husband, a cancer patient. While I don't regularly open his mail, this time I made an exception. My blood pressure rose as I thought to myself, "Why would anyone do this to him?" So much for all those privacy forms we've filled out.
I sliced the seal with my letter opener. The words in bold on the reply card really irked me: "WIN a pre-paid cremation". The phrase was angled against the backdrop of a number of trees with a more prominent larger tree with many branches and green leaves featured in a solitary location in the foreground.
"Complete all of the reply slip information and you will be eligible for a drawing each month." Each month. I wasn't sure he'd live another day much less long enough to have a chance to be a winner of pre-paid burial expenses. His name, our home address, complete with the extra four digits of the United States zip code, was already typed in on the reply slip. His phone number and e-mail address were all that was missing. A prepaid business reply mail envelope was conveniently included. A letter with the greeting in his name was of general interest to everyone but me that day! I was miffed at such brash marketing techniques. Why not pick on the well and leave the dying alone?
Cremation
OK so there are a variety of reasons more and more people are choosing cremation over traditional funeral arrangements as the enclosed letter stated. Maybe it is fact that as Americans plan their final wishes and needs almost 30% have selected cremation as their preference over a traditional funeral. Maybe that form of burial did have less of an impact on the environment. My preference was that Jesus would come or that my husband would be healed before I'd needed to face that decision. That was my answer for improving the environment!
"Simple, Economical and Dignified" is the motto of this particular organization. My idea was simple, economical and dignified too. Be ready everyday for Jesus to come and pray without ceasing that His will be done on behalf of my husband.
Then I turned the reply card over and read a statement made by a woman sometime in between 1884 when she was born and 1962 when she died. "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, and today is a gift: that's why they call it the present." Thanks, Eleanor Roosevelt. I needed that today. I need to live in the present everyday. I need to take one day at a time and thank God for each day I have to spend with the love of my life. I need to be in the present with Our Father who loves us more than we can possibly imagine.
I picked up the phone and had Doug's name removed from the organization's mailing list.
For several months now (practically since last December 26th) my children have been wishing and dreaming for Christmas. Is it their eagerness to hear the story of Baby Jesus and sing "Away in the Manger"? Do they relish the opportunity for generosity? Are they pouring over the toy catalog in search of the perfect gift for a child in need? No, sadly no. Somehow my youngsters have mistaken Jesus' birthday for their own since they seem to think that they deserve most of the gifts. Perhaps Mom and Dad, along with doting grandparents, helped create this horrible misconception. Perhaps our commercialized culture cultivated the passion for presents. Whatever the culprit, one thing is certain: It is time to change.
Thus it was that I began searching for new methods of celebrating Christmas in our home. I sought a balance between deprivation and gluttony, and amidst the plethora of information on the World Wide Web, I discovered a most creative approach. Trina Conner Schaetz' article "Begging for Myrrh" (Christian Parenting Today, Winter 2002, http://www.christianitytoday.com/cpt/2002/005/1.30.html) suggests turning the Christmas morning gift opening into a reminder of the gifts Jesus received from the wise men. It also effectively limits each child to a modest three gifts instead of the usual piggish piles. Each gift reflects the special symbolism found in the gold, frankincense, and myrrh.
Symbolism
Because of its extreme value, the wise men's gift of gold represents Jesus' kingship. Your child's "gold" gift may be his most expensive and most wished for gift. Its importance symbolizes his own importance to your family as the gold symbolized Jesus as the King of kings and Lord of lords.
Frankincense is best known biblically as an ingredient of the incense that burned in the tabernacle. It symbolizes our prayers, worship, and communion with God. The "frankincense" gift should be something that helps your child worship or learn more about God, something that aids in her meeting with God. Perhaps a devotional book, a Christian CD or DVD, a prayer journal, or maybe even a Bible game would make good "frankincense" gifts.
Myrrh was commonly used to scent perfumes, anointing oils, and embalming ointment. Interestingly, Nicodemus used myrrh to prepare Jesus' body for burial. (John 19:39-40) Myrrh signifies that Jesus was born to eventually die for our sins. Your child's "myrrh" gift may include items that "anoint" his body. The author of the article suggests things like special soaps, perfumes, colognes, or lotions. Perhaps even things like bubble bath, hair bows or barrettes, or make-up would be applicable. I might stretch the symbolism to include a needed item of clothing—something that is worn on the body.
I look forward to this Christmas too because I now see in it a powerful opportunity to curb my children's material desires while teaching them lessons about Jesus.
We'd left our home in Japan 22 hours before. There'd been a six hour wait at the military terminal before the first three hour flight. Then another three hour layover before the second 10 hour flight. When we arrived in the States we had to run to our connecting flight and managed to get there 10 minutes before the doors closed.
I was a wreck. Juggling two toddlers and two car seats as well as trying to keep said toddlers happy had exhausted me. And I had a mood to match it: grumpy and impatient. And it didn't help knowing we had another five hours before we'd finally make it to my brother's house.
As I was speed walking to the gate, my three-year old began to exclaim in complete and unfettered delight at the "AIRPLANEJETS!" he could see outside the huge windows. He was dancing and giggling and grinning from ear to ear to see his favorite things all in a row on the tarmac.
Joy in the Journey
I paused. And considered his mood. He'd also left 22 hours before. Granted he didn't have the responsibilities or worries that I do as his mother, but still. He was choosing to experience joy in the journey. I needed to take a minute and just be where God had brought me instead of complaining about what came before or dreading what was up ahead.
Jesus told his disciples not to worry about what comes next because "each day has enough trouble of it's own" (Matthew 6:34). And I really love the way Eugene Peterson translates the whole verse: "Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes."
So, before I boarded the last flight and before I reminded myself our total travel time was going to reach 27 hours—I stopped, thanked the Lord for bringing us so far and adopted some of my son's joy.
We had done it with so much joy, yet with so much sacrifice. Penny by penny, we had put money aside, all to give our first-born daughter, Margarita, the Christmas gift she so longed for.
That Christmas Eve was special more than any other. In our hands, we each held our opened gifts. The only one left was Margarita. She began to open the package slowly, making the anticipation even greater. But, her joy quickly disappeared as she discovered that inside that beautiful package, the iPod she so longed for was missing!
My wife and I could not understand. All that we found inside that box was a bunch of tissue paper—nothing else! Margarita ran to her room, digging for an answer in her pillow, crying inconsolably.
I walked in to my daughter's room. How do I console her? The gift she had patiently waited an entire year for was not in the box. It was so unusual—unexplainable. But, it happened. I sat by her side and I told her that God knew what had happened and only He could find a solution to such a strange incident.
That night we went to sleep trusting that it would all be resolved because God was in control of our lives and He knew what sacrifices we had made to get that iPod—that invisible iPod.
Two days later, I headed to the big shopping center in town. It was rather difficult to get the employees to understand my situation. Maybe they thought I was trying to take advantage of them and attempting to walk out of there with yet another iPod.
Store Manager
I asked to speak with the store manager—I waited the entire morning. Finally, the large, heavy door opened. Out came a kind woman that asked me to step into her boss' office. To my surprise, on the other side of the desk, sat the youngest manager I had ever seen in my life. He was almost a child! A never-ending smile adorned his face. I told him the story about the gift. He listened intently. When I finished, there was a deathly silence. Then, with the same smile he had greeted me with earlier, he told me:
"You know, Mr. Gonzalez, Christmas Eve I dressed up as Santa Claus to pass out gifts to my little nephews. I'll never forget their little faces full of happiness and joy! If what happened to you that night, would've happened to me, I would've died! Mr. Gonzalez, on behalf of this store and all of its employees, I greatly apologize—to you, your daughter, and your entire family. I know we won't be able to take away the sadness Margarita felt on Christmas Eve, but please tell her that she may come in anytime and pick whatever iPod she'd like. We'll be more than glad to assist her!"
When I returned home. I ran to the backyard where my daughter was, and with the biggest smile I could come up with, I told her: "See, Margarita! God is always with us—even in the weirdest of situations. He's always willing to help us. All we have to do is ask Him! Wanna go to the store?"
My grandmother Marie was a young girl during World War II in German-occupied France. The household consisted of her mother and father and a sister just a few years younger than she. Grandma Marie told me that times were hard then. They never had enough food, never enough heat in the winter months, and in general, never enough of anything. But her family tried to make the best of things.
One day during the war years, as Christmas approached, my grandmother and her sister decided to get a small Christmas tree, a family tradition for years. However, under German occupation, things had changed. The Germans said that things such as Christmas trees were verboten (forbidden). There were to be no exceptions. But young people, like my Grandma and her sister, often don't think or worry about the consequences of their actions. So without their parents' permission, the girls went to a nearby forest and cut down a small Christmas tree. They planned to hide the Christmas tree in their bedroom closet, decorate it with the decorations they still owned, and bring it out Christmas morning. If they enjoyed the tree for only that short period, the girls reasoned, their parents' probably would not be too harsh on them.
But children talk, and the occupying army was very good at using people to inform on their neighbors by rewarding them with extra food or other favors when they acted as spies. And someone informed on my grandmother and her sister.
My grandmother told me how frightened the family was when the German patrol knocked on the door. A big, mean-looking German officer told the family in broken French that they were going to search the house because they'd heard that the family had a Christmas tree. "As you know," the officer boomed, "Christmas trees are verboten."
"We have no Christmas tree," my great-grandfather protested.
"We shall see," said the officer, pushing my great-grandfather aside and ordering his soldiers to search the little farmhouse.
My grandmother Marie and her sister were terrified. They knew their tree would be discovered and had no idea what the Germans would do.
My great-grandfather and great-grandmother were shocked when the little Christmas tree was pulled out of the closet.
"No Christmas tree, huh?" the German officer smirked.
"I did not know!" my great-grandfather cried. My poor great-grandfather broke down in tears.
"It is our fault, Papa," my grandmother said. Turning to the German officer, she said, "Please, our parents did not know! It is my fault. I am to blame!"
Slapped the Girls Across Their Faces
My great-grandfather grabbed my grandmother and her sister and shook them. Then to make an impression upon the officer, he slapped the girls across their faces—something he had never done before.
"Papa's harsh actions against us probably saved our whole family from further punishment," my grandmother told me. "The patrol let us off with a warning."
Later, after the German patrol had left, my poor great-grandfather broke down in tears and apologized for slapping my grandmother and her sister. "But you must know," he scolded them, "as much as you wanted a Christmas tree, you must not disobey what your mother and I tell you girls. This is wartime; we must obey the laws of the Germans, even if we disagree with them. Your Christmas tree could have gotten us all in very, very serious trouble."
My grandmother Marie and her sister bowed their heads and said, "Yes, Papa. We are very sorry. It will not happen again." So the sisters were resigned to a Christmas without a tree. But then, even during bad times, even during wartime, there are still moments of goodness and rays of hope.
Christmas morning found the little French family looking out the window at the falling snowflakes. It was very Christmaslike. But there was no tree.
Then there came a knock on the door. Always fearful of knocks on the door during the war, my great-grandfather went to the door with a great deal of hesitation. As he opened the door, he could make out through the falling snow the gray uniforms of two German soldiers running away from the house. And there on the doorstep was a small Christmas tree, decorated with bright little ribbons. And attached was a note in French that read, "Merry Christmas. We are Christians too. Please enjoy your tree on this very special day. And when the day is over, please get rid of it for the safety of all us."
The two German soldiers had probably been on the patrol that confiscated the first Christmas tree. And they jeopardized their own safety to bring the girls another tree.
My grandma recalls, "We didn't have much that Christmas. But when those soldiers risked everything to bring us that tree, it truly made it one of the most wonderful Christmases I have ever had!"
