Photo: Andreas Steinbach

Late summer in Iowa means it's blackberry-picking time! Several years ago, my husband's brother uncovered an Eden of blackberries on his property while he was clearing away brush. Acres of them. He mowed some pathways through the thick bushes to create easy access to the juicy treasures, and ever since the discovery was made, my husband Mark has been the number one blackberry harvester. In fact, at this very moment, Mark is back in the patch, hoping to break his ten gallon record.

I love to eat the blackberries, but you won't find me actually picking them. I have a sensitivity to poison ivy, an aversion to mosquitoes, and I don't particularly enjoy being cut by the thorns that encircle the clusters of plump fruit. Mark, on the other hand, is fearless in his quest for every ripe berry. He even visits the patch before the fruit is ripe, investigating its maturity and spotting the potential at work. I've never heard him come home saying, "What a bunch of useless berries! They'll never mature!" Nope. Instead, I hear reports like, "Ooooh...just a little longer and they'll be turning color. Just a few more rains and they'll mature into big, sweet berries ready to fall right into my hand."

And he's right. That's exactly what happens. The interesting thing is that even though he does love the taste of blackberries, that's not what keeps him picking them. He explained to me that the more berries he picks, the more he wants to pick, and that mysteriously, the more personal sacrifice he puts into it, the more rewarding it is. When he has picked all the berries he can reach by standing on the mowed path, he then wades into the brush, which has poison ivy, ticks, mosquitoes, bugs, and thorns. "The more it costs me personally," he says, " the more I want those berries."

Another Message Here

So, that's why we have a freezer full of wonderful fruit that we'll be enjoying in a cobbler, pies, and jelly come January! But there's another message here. I'm thinking of Jesus and the large harvest of people that he so desperately wants to reach. How puny and immature we must seem to him. He could so easily look at us for who we are rather than at the potential of who he plans for us to be.

So he rains the Holy Spirit on us and feeds us with his word and carefully watches us become sweeter until we are ready to fall into his waiting hand. And the more distant we are from him, the more he wants to reach us. The more he has sacrificed of himself to find us, the more he wants to make contact. He has suffered pain, rejection, and even death in order to finally be able to stretch his hand deep into the dark, thorny existence where we abide, never being satisfied to leave us to die. The more it cost him personally, the more he wants us. And it cost him everything.

"Father, I want those you have given me to be with me where I am, and to see my glory, the glory you have given me because you loved me before the creation of the world" (John 17:24).

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By Gwen Scott Simmons. Copyright © 2008 by GraceNotes. All rights reserved. Use of this material is subject to usage guidelines. Scripture take from the NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION ®.
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Photo: Ieva Geneviciene

It was a warm summer afternoon. Just waking a nap, Nora decided to freshen up by taking a cold shower. It was just around the time the baby was due for her bottle. Nora asked her younger sister who was visiting her, to prepare the bottle. Laura quickly made her way to the kitchen. She looked in the pantry for the formula, but instead of one can, she found two. Two identical cans! Both were half full. Both contained a yellowish powder inside. So, she took out the can and dropped the formula into the warm milk...one...two...three teaspoons of powder. She mixed it well for a couple of minutes. When it was done, she poured the mixture into the bottle and shook it for just a couple more seconds.

From her crib, the baby anxiously awaited the arrival of her bottle. Laura gently took her in her arms, sat in the rocking chair, and began to feed her.

The sound of the running water created a relaxing drowsiness in Nora. As she got out of the shower, she felt perfectly happy and refreshed. She checked to see how the baby was doing and began talking to her, as all mothers do. Suddenly Nora grabbed the bottle from Laura's hand! The baby started to cry inconsolably.

"Laura? Nora screamed. Why doesn't the milk mix with the formula? Which can of formula did you use? Where did you get the formula from?

"But...Nora... What's going on?" Laura answered in a quavering voice. "I got it from the can you had in the pantry. You store them there, right?"

The two of them were crying. Actually, the three of them! Nora ran to the kitchen and brought back the cans asking Laura which of the two she had used. "Did you use the one that was on the left of the pantry, or the one on the right?" The young girl didn't know what to say.

Rat Poison

Nora told her that someone had given her a small amount of rat poison, stating that it was much more lethal than those found in supermarkets. Without considering the possibility of anyone confusing the two, she had put that toxic powder in an empty baby formula can! Laura was now crying hysterically, while attempting to calm the hungry baby.

Nora quickly dressed and along with her younger sister, took the baby girl to the nearest hospital. They examined the infant for two hours, running all kinds of tests until they finally gave her a bottle of milk. She was so happy!

The doctor told Nora that although the baby had ingested three-quarters of the poisoned bottle, she was in perfect condition. The poison had not caused any damage.

"Can't you see, doctor? A miracle has occurred in this town! My little girl has ingested three spoonfuls of a lethal poison and she has not died or gotten sick. Today, God has performed a miracle, doctor!"

"Well, I'd say she was extremely lucky, ma'am. As a doctor, the only thing I can be sure of is that the child is in perfect condition. A miracle? Well...go with God, ma'am!"

God performs miracles today. You might not even know all the times He has intervened so that no harm has come to you or your loved ones.

Look for His guiding hand in your life? Pay close attention. You just might see the ways God guards your every step.

"I lie down and sleep; I wake again, because the Lord sustains me. I will not fear the tens of thousands drawn up against me on every side" (Psalm 3:5-6).

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By Chari Torres. Copyright © 2008 by GraceNotes. All rights reserved. Use of this material is subject to usage guidelines. Scripture take from the NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION ®.
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Photo: Dreamstime

While taking a leisurely evening walk with my two-year old son, I noticed him looking at all of his surroundings so intently—the flowers, the water, the bugs, and the people. But it was the wind that really intrigued him. The trees were blowing hard, the wind making them bend and sway. He looked up at me and said, "Mommy, the trees are dancing." I was so enthralled by his description and as I looked at the trees, I too, could see them dancing with glee.

That very statement made me think about all of God's creation. I looked at it with different eyes. The flowers were nodding in approval of His great love; the sun was gliding happily up into the sky to illuminate His entire universe; the water was trickling with excitement as it quenched the thirst of all the surrounding beauty. What had become "normal" and almost "underestimated" became alive and animated.

Rejoice

This reminded me of how God originally created the earth and all that is in it, back to the very first glints of light. He made the earth, flowers, trees, sun, and water to rejoice! Isaiah 55:12 tells me: "...the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands."

Now when I realize I have forgotten to take the time to appreciate all the beauty God has created, I look at the trees. I remember the words of my two-year-old, and take notice that they are "dancing" in awe of Him.

"The creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed" (Romans 8:19).

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By Erika Gladden. Copyright © 2008 by GraceNotes. All rights reserved. Use of this material is subject to usage guidelines. Scripture take from the NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION ®.
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Photo: Dreamstime

Here in Iowa, we've just about decided that clear skies are a thing of the past. After a long winter of snow and record ice damage, we experienced a spring of constant rain. Gray skies were the norm, and sunshine, I'm afraid, became a memory.

Usually, I love rain. Being from Kansas, I even enjoy a good thunderstorm now and then. But the spring showers of this year have grown into a series of destruction, with flooding, crop damage, and tornado activity that has been more devastating than any I can remember in Midwest past. Entire towns are literally being blown away. We citizens of Tornado Ally have always been aware of the possibility of being struck by a tornado. But lately, it is less a question of if and more a question of when. Even as I write this, a message is crawling across the bottom of my news screen that says my county is under yet even another severe weather warning, including tornadoes, hail, and heavy rain. Again.

Simultaneously, other parts of the world are being shaken by earthquakes and drowned by hurricanes. What's going on? What's with all this weather-related destruction? Fortunately, modern technology is such that we can have some warning. Meteorologists can pinpoint storm systems and predict accurately where they are headed and when they will hit. We then have the opportunity to seek shelter and be saved.

Brewing for Centuries

As helpful as meteorologists are in predicting weather, I notice that there is one approaching storm that they never mention. The Big One. This storm is the mother of all other storms. In fact, it is the storm that may very well be causing the ones we are experiencing now. This storm has been brewing for centuries and its intensity was predicted before meteorology was even a word. While it may indeed manifest itself in floods, earthquakes and winds, it is itself more than a physical storm. It is a spiritual storm, bringing a time of intense trial, calling for personal decision. And it can't be spotted with Super Doppler Radar.

So, how can we know how to find shelter? How can we be saved from the biggest storm to ever visit the planet? There is only one way, and that is by staying tuned in to the forecast found in God's Word, and to walk closely with Jesus every day. Jesus has said, "I will never leave you nor forsake you" (Hebrews 13:5).

And there's an up side to the forecast: the latter rain. As with most storms, The Big One also includes rain. But this rain is refreshing and reviving, filling those who receive it with joy and enthusiasm to move forward with confidence to shout above the thunder a cry of salvation for a drowning world.

Let's pray for God's strength as we prepare for the trials and triumphs of The Big One. Jesus says, "Yes, I am coming soon." Amen. Come, Lord Jesus" (Revelation 22:20).

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By Gwen Scott Simmons. Copyright © 2008 by GraceNotes. All rights reserved. Use of this material is subject to usage guidelines. Scripture taken from the NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION ®.

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Photo: Dennis Cox

Some hold that you should feel free to pray for anything. If you pray hard and long enough, God will grant your petition. Yet Christ stated, ". . .when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him" (Matthew 6:7-8).

What is appropriate in a prayer? How do we know what to pray for? Or how to pray?

I measure my prayers by a yardstick provided by Jesus: The Lord's Prayer.

It starts: "Our Father in heaven..." This defines our relation with God. God is our parent, and we His children. We should approach God in the way we, as children would have asked our parents for help and advice.

"Hallowed be your name..." Prayer is sacred. We invoke God's name when we pray. This reminds us not to take it in vain.

"Your kingdom come, your will be done . . ." God wants us to do his will. A prayer is not about us—it is about asking God to help us do what He wants us to do.

"On earth as it is in heaven." We, as Christians, are not rooted in this world. Our goal is heaven, not Earth. Our prayers should help achieve that destination.

Not Luxuries

"Give us today our daily bread." It is okay to pray for things. But what things does Jesus show us to pray for? Our daily bread—not our daily cake and ice cream. Jesus tells us to pray for needful things—the things we need to exist —not luxuries. God is the ultimate parent. Parents provide their children with food, clothing, and shelter. But wise parents (God is the wisest) do not provide children with every toy a child wants. They know that too many material things hurt a child. Dessert and designer labels should come from your own labors.

"Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors." Christ is not talking about the mortgage or credit card balances here. These debts are transgressions by us against others and against us by others. We need to pray for God's forgiveness, and for God's help in our extending forgiveness to those who have wronged us.

"And lead us not into temptation..." Do not pray for things that tempt us. (That kills many prayers I made as a teen.) No fair praying for fast cars and fast living. Those prayers end up in God's dead-letter box.

"But deliver us from the evil one." We should ask God's help to avoid evil. This is different than avoiding temptation. We are asking God to protect us from criminals and predators—in the same way we wanted our parents to protect and make us safe when we were children.

Measure your prayers against the Lord's Prayer. See what fits with it—and what does not. You may be surprised, and adjust your prayers accordingly.

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By Mark N. Lardas. Copyright © 2008 by GraceNotes. All rights reserved. Use of this material is subject to usage guidelines. Scripture take from the NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION ®.
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Photo: Denis Pepin

His ashes are scattered there. They're also scattered in other favorite places around the country. Famous comedian George Carlin's ashes were taken to a number of spots around the United States by his daughter Kelly Carlin McCall and his brother Patrick. Among the locations was a summer camp in New Hampshire where Carlin attended as a young boy. On the day that he died George was wearing the necklace that he won in a drama competition at the camp when he was a child.

As I read this account, the idea of him wearing that summer camp necklace at the moment of his death literally leaped off the page. That day Mr. Carlin could have been wearing almost anything of incredible monetary value. He had wealth, fame, popularity. He was a highly acclaimed comedian with a number of HBO specials and world recognition to his credit. He's been called a comic "genius" on numerous occasions by his peers, although his routines were regularly off-color and many times downright vulgar.

He could have worn anything, but he chose an old necklace he was awarded for a job well done. I found it interesting that someone of his fame and social status would choose a worn, sentimental trinket to place around his neck. It wouldn't surprise me if George wore it regularly.

Common Human Need

I'm no psychologist, but his fondness for this memento bespeaks a common human need to be appreciated and to be recognized as valuable in someone else's eyes. This desire is rarely more prevelant, nor is the gesture of appreciation more life-altering than when it takes place in the life of a child. Children need our attention and appreciation more than we may realize. They crave the heartfelt accolades for a job well done, no matter how insignificant we may feel it is at the time.

To be appreciated and to have the opportunity to contribute something of value can bring joy and purpose to a child's life now and in the future. Our opportunity as adults is to recognize our children's good motives and to share with them how important their contribution to this world really is.

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By Michael Temple. Copyright © 2008 by GraceNotes. All rights reserved. Use of this material is subject to usage guidelines. Scripture taken from The Message ® and the NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION ®.
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Photo: Shailesh Nanal

The parents of a five-year-old asked for my advice about an interesting problem. Mandy took things from her parents without their permission. Most of the things she took were small items that belonged to her mother such as makeup, jewelry, and other accessories. Occasionally, however, Mandy took things from her father like chewing gum and nail clippers.

When something turned up missing, Mandy's parents would confront her. "Did you take it?" they would ask.

"No," she would reply.

At this point, the game of "Scotland Yard" would commence. Her parents would follow a trail of clues straight to where Mandy had secreted the missing item. This might take anywhere from three minutes to three days. After her parents found the loot, Mandy would confess, and her explanation was always the same: "I just wanted to look at it."

"But why did you hide it?" her parents would plead. "Why didn't you put it back?'

"I don't know," Mandy would reply, tearing up.

"Why didn't you just ask us for it in the first place?"

Once again, Mandy would say, "I don't know" and begin to cry.

Mandy's parents didn't know what to think, say, or do about all this. Sometimes they were angry at Mandy, and sometimes they worried that she took things from them because she felt unloved. Eventually, they went to see a child therapist who came to the conclusion that Mandy was "manipulating" her parents in order to control them and be the center of their attention.

Manipulating?

When Mandy's parents came to me about the problem, I told them I didn't think Mandy was trying to manipulate them. A child Mandy's age has no more insight into her own behavior than the moon has cheese. Insightfulness and, therefore, the ability to knowingly manipulate others, doesn't fully emerge until a child reaches early adolescence, at best.

When a problem such as Mandy's has a stranglehold on a family, the parents must take the upper hand and in so doing demonstrate their authority, defuse the issue, and remove the child's need to continue misbehaving. Although some form or punishment may, in certain instances, be appropriate, punishment alone will change nothing. In some way, the child must be given a large share of the responsibility for solving the problem. The manner in which this done depends upon many things, but here's how we did it with Mandy.

First, her parents stopped playing Scotland Yard. They put a small box, labeled "Mom and Dad Things" in Mandy's room. Next, they redefined the problem, calling it "curiosity" (a positive word) instead of "stealing" or "taking" (negative words).

"Mandy," they said, "you have our permission to be curious about our things. From now on, when you take something of ours to look at or play with, just put it in this box when you're through with it."

If something turned up missing, they went to Mandy's room and looked in the box. Usually, it was there. If not, instead of asking questions (the first move in Scotland Yard), they made a statement to Mandy such as, "Mandy I need my car keys back, please," and lo and behold, Mandy would give them back! Ultimately, Mandy stopped going into her parents' room altogether unless she had their permission. And all returned to normal in Mandyland.

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By John Rosemond. Reprinted with permission from Signs of the Times, May 2008. Copyright © 2008 by GraceNotes. All rights reserved. Use of this material is subject to usage guidelines.
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Photo: Dreamstime

If your child is one of the projected 56 million elementary or high school students heading off to school this fall in the United States you may be wondering what you can do to make things go more smoothly. Fortunately, one of the best ways to help your child succeed in school is fairly easy—communicate with his or her teacher regularly.

Students do best when parents and teachers work together as a team. Classroom teachers are experts in education. But no one knows more about your child than you. The start of a new school year is a good time for establishing open communication patterns with your child's teacher. Remember, it's just as important for you to talk with teachers about issues at home that may affect your child's school performance as it is for teachers to report how students are doing in the classroom.

Here are some suggestions for things to discuss with your child's teacher, offered by education specialist Emily Graham. (For additional information see her article at SchoolFamily.com)

Things to Discuss

1. Health Conditions: Allergies, diabetes and asthma are things teachers should know about. Also talk about situations like ADHD, which may affect behavior or concentration.

2. Family Issues: Major Changes (such as divorce, death of a family member or a move) are stressful. Alert the teacher to watch for behavior changes, even if your child seems to be doing OK.

3. Personality Traits and Special Interests: If your child is unusually shy or prone to throwing tantrums it's best to make teachers aware of these issues before they become a classroom problem. Also, if teachers know about students' hobbies and interests they can forge a connection more quickly.

4. Learning Styles: You've spent years teaching your child—from potty training to tying shoes to riding a bike. You have a good idea of your child's learning style. Share strategies that work well for your child.

5. Strengths and Weaknesses: Maybe your daughter is a whiz at solving math problems but is embarrassed to read aloud. Or your son loves to study history but struggles with science lessons. If you talk about these things up front, teachers will have more time to help your child improve in the areas needed most.

Sharing this type of information with teachers will help them better understand your child's needs and lay the groundwork for a cooperative relationship throughout the coming school year.

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By Brenda Dickerson. Copyright © 2008 by GraceNotes. All rights reserved. Use of this material is subject to usage guidelines.
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Photo: Laurent Hamels

"Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me." Sound familiar? But it isn't true, is it? Words do hurt. In fact, a cut or scrape of the skin will heal, but wounds caused by words can last a lifetime. Stop and think about it--isn't it usually words that hurt a relationship?

"I don't love you anymore."
"I wish I'd never had you kids."
"Get out of my life!"
"I want to breakup."
"You're not my friend anymore."

There's a Bible text that holds the key to healthy, respectful relationships. It's found in James 1:19: "Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry...." Even television's Dr. Phil couldn't give better advice! In this short verse, James gives three valuable communication ideals for us to follow. Here are some ways that we can apply them:

"Quick to listen." We need to be sincerely eager to hear what the other person has to say and to listen with our hearts. This means that when he or she is talking, we shouldn't be planning our response and then start talking as soon as they finish their sentence. To really listen means to put ourselves in the other person's place.

"Slow to speak." How many times have you wished you could take back your words as soon as they left your mouth? Being slow to speak means thinking about what we're going to say before we say it. We need to consider how it will sound and how it will make the listener feel.

"Slow to become angry." Don't we all need this one! So often we quickly blow-up in a disagreement and once that happens, resolving the conflict is impossible at that point.

Imagine What It Would be Like

Imagine what our homes would be like if every family member were "quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry." Husbands and wives wouldn't argue anymore. Children would be respectful toward their parents. And children wouldn't be verbally abused.

Imagine what our churches would be like if every member were "quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry." There wouldn't be any arguing during church board meetings. Members wouldn't criticize the pastor. All gossiping would stop. Members would build each other up and never tear each other down.

Imagine what our workplaces and friendships would be like if everyone involved were "quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry." There would be harmony in the workplace. Bosses wouldn't explode and employees wouldn't easily offend their coworkers. Friendships wouldn't have conflict because if a problem arose, both sides would listen and speak gently.

James 1:19 is definitely a goal to strive towards. It holds the key to relationships that are healthful instead of hurtful. I like the way The Message Bible clearly puts this text: "Lead with your ears, follow up with your tongue, and let anger straggle along in the rear."

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By Nancy Canwell. Copyright © 2008 by GraceNotes. All rights reserved. Use of this material is subject to usage guidelines. Scripture taken from the NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION ®.
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Photo:Elena Schweitzer

The transition between summer and a new school year can be difficult for both children and parents. Even children who are eager to return to class must adjust to the greater levels of activity, structure, and even pressures associated with school life. Here are a few suggestions to help ease the transition for the entire family.

Re-establish the bedtime and mealtime routines. Try as we might to maintain a schedule during the summer, we often find ourselves allowing children to stay up later and sometimes skip meals. Plan to re-establish the school-year routine at least one week before school starts. Use this opportunity to explain to your child the benefits of a good night's sleep and a healthy breakfast.

Make lunches the night before school. Older children should help or make their own lunches. Give them the option to buy lunch in if they prefer and finances permit. Be a part of your children's meal choices and make sure they have a well-rounded and balanced option for lunch.

Leave plenty of extra time. Make sure your child has plenty of time to get up, eat breakfast, and get to school. For very young children taking the bus, pin to their shirt or backpack an index card with pertinent information, including their teacher's name and number, as well as your own daytime contact information.

Review your child's school books. Make it a habit to be a part of your child's learning experience. Talk about what your child will be learning during the year. Share your enthusiasm for the subjects and your confidence in your child's ability to master this new grade level. Learning skills take time and repetition. Encourage your child to be patient, attentive, and positive.

Send a brief note to your child's teacher. Let the teachers know that you are interested in getting regular feedback on how and what your child is doing in school. Find out how they like to communicate with parents. Convey a sincere desire to be a partner with your child's teachers to enhance their learning experience.

Let your child know you care. If your child is anxious about school, try not to over react. Remain calm and positive. Send personal notes in your child's lunch box or book bag. Make sure your child knows you are there to talk to when situations are unclear or stressful.

With a little advance preparation and a few simple steps, your child's new school year can be an amazing experience for the entire family!

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By Diana Hardin. Copyright © 2008 by GraceNotes. All rights reserved. Use of this material is subject to usage guidelines.

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